I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize