just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
please come you make the beer taste better
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
