This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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