My nipple is on Facebook.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have aggressive nipples.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
