Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You can't motorboat a personality
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
is this the sara with the beer cane?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
