A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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