Betty ford says i'm here all night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
