She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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