No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
