I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
