I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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