'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
