So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize