Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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