if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
