y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
