we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
