Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Can you bring me the toilet please
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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