can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
