My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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