the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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