PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
