I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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