I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
