first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
