a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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