I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
