In the future we'll all be gay
My brain says no but my pants say off.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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