theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And then the night went full on bisexual.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
