woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
