This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
