My hand turned me down
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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