i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize