just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just had sex bonerless
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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