i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
