wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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