I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
