Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
