And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
