More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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