sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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