Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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