dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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