WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
