all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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