No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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