I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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