Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize