you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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