Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
