So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
