He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
