Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
