Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
