She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I currently don't understand fingers.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize