God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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