is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
