i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
