Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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