If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
