Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
