i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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