My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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