Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
