was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
