i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
