is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
