if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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