I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize