My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Barsexuality is the new black.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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