There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
