If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
